Thursday, 3 October 2013

The time for talk is done

So sitting at heathrow waiting for baggage drop to open to get my bike safely on it's way to Chicago and I thought I'd update about the last minute stuff.
Yesterday was a whirlwind... started off my dropping into work to say bye to my friends and those who are as close to being family as you can get without actually being.
Coulda been a mistake. The number of times I said 'I will be fine' cannot be counted on 2 hands and actually I didn't feel fine. If you know me you know I have energy to spare, now picture inside my head .... 10 thoughts rattling round every second... did I pack that.... do I need that.... what if.... help... am I really crazy... will I complete this.... will I let myself down.... cant wait to see the sign on the pier.... etc etc etc. Managed to keep this well hidden, to reassure all the people worried about me but it exploded the moment I got home.

The pacing started. Even as I made phone calls to some people who have been legends in their support for me I was pacing the floor... wound up as tight as a coiled spring. If I could have got in the car then and there I would have.

Even going climbing didn't help, my head wasn't in the game, or this planet which makes climbing difficult to say the least.

The afternoon passed in a haze of caffeine... another mistake. As if the nervous energy and adrenaline werent enough, try adding lots of coffee to the mix... recipie for disaster.
By the time I got to my parents, I felt physically sick. Food didn't appeal in the slightest. And so the evening passed. Home, fed the snakes and a couple of hours kip later... emma arrived to take me to heathrow. 
And so now, sitting at heathrow, a year after sandra watson sowed the seed of this crazy plan at ben nevis rocks, I find myself completely calm.

Maybe its the fact that I'm sleep deprived, or maybe it's the knowledge that I cant do anything now if I have forgotten anything, there is no turning back....
The time for talk is done.... Santa Monica here I come!